I know most of our readers haven't stepped foot in a shopping mall since that giant computer electronics chain (hint: rhymes with Cricket City) had its liquidation sale, but this post is relevant to you regardless. We've received security cam footage from a close source, showing Sean Walker running up an emergency stairwell at a mall in Pennsville, New Jersey along with unconfirmed reports of a possible WMD attack.
You're all too familiar with my rants on rabid, unchecked consumerism, but let's be completely honest, folks... attacking a mall is like attacking Wrigley Field, the Smithsonian, the Empire State Building, even the White House. Malls are as American as fast food chain $1 apple pies, liposuction, and social media sites.
Malls are where our parents drop us off to meet our first crushes, sneak into our first R rated movies, and buy our first "cool clothes." Malls are an immutable part of the social fabric of the United States. And if we can't stuff our faces in neon-lit food courts in peace, what can we do? Remain hostages in our homes where we could read books or learn? No, thank you!
Security cam footage
You're all too familiar with my rants on rabid, unchecked consumerism, but let's be completely honest, folks... attacking a mall is like attacking Wrigley Field, the Smithsonian, the Empire State Building, even the White House. Malls are as American as fast food chain $1 apple pies, liposuction, and social media sites.
Malls are where our parents drop us off to meet our first crushes, sneak into our first R rated movies, and buy our first "cool clothes." Malls are an immutable part of the social fabric of the United States. And if we can't stuff our faces in neon-lit food courts in peace, what can we do? Remain hostages in our homes where we could read books or learn? No, thank you!